So there you are sitting across from an impossibly perfect hunk of spousal material. All those yummy attributes you’ve always dreamed about are sitting there, in the flesh. Starry eyed, you’re mentally flirting with words like romance, relationship and… wedding. All the while you’re dreaming of the gorgeous children that might be produced between you and this exquisite masterpiece. Then it hits you… Is it even possible to adequately thank the mother of this cologne smelling, mint breathing, designer pant wearing, Adonis- like, paragon?
WAKE UP! Intervention needed. You could just be imagining it all. He could be a jerk… maybe even leave the toilet seat up! Isn’t it time to even find out if you even like wild venison? (Pretty nasty stuff if you haven’t acquired the pallet.)
Do not fall in love yet… Do not pass go… Even Yosemite Sam made a cute baby! (One would think.) But really would you want to be entangled in a relationship with a swearing, temper tantrum throwing, gun shooting, graduate of the 5th grade. Well there’s someone for everyone… here’s to you Mrs. Sam.
In order to avoid making a serious life altering mistake here are some must ask questions. It is recommended you have this conversation prior to selecting flowers for his mother :
1. Are your parents still together?
a. No. Follow with…
What happened? (Important to get details on cheating who did it and how your prospect felt about it?)
b. YesJ then next…
What do they do that makes them work?
2. How do you fight? What happens when you get really, really angry?
a. Scream and Yell.
b. Get quiet and want to be left alone.
It makes it easier if the two of you deal with difficulty the same. Screamers tend to be more sympathetic to screamers. Those who crawl into a cave for a while to figure it out tend to understand the non-confrontational types.
3. How many children do you want to have someday?
4. What is your idea of a dream vacation?
5. What are your hobbies?
6. What was the last book you read and did you like it?
7. Where do you see yourself in ten years?
8. Does a messy house drive you nuts?
Some people think they can ‘fix’ someone who has perceived flaws. You cannot fix them and it’s unfair to try.
If you can’t love someone for exactly who they are without changing anything about them… you are being unfair to yourself and to them. You are being unfair to them because you already perceive them as sub-standard. You are being unfair to yourself because you are settling for someone who you see as sub-standard.
If you can honestly say that you can live with all perceived imperfections. Nobody’s perfect. This could possibly be the beginning of a conversation that could last the rest of your life…
